If you wish to change your life, you must change some of your habits. For a human being is a collection of habits. The essence of our daily behavior comprises a number of habits we follow every day, from the early hours of the morning until we go to bed at night. We acquire these habits by committing to them daily, and just as we acquire them, we can discard them.

But why do we often unconsciously stick to our daily habits? Because they save us a great deal of effort and time. What you do every day in your life becomes automatic over time, requiring no conscious thought from you, as your subconscious mind takes over. We see this in cleaning our teeth, driving a car, using our mobile phones, and operating computers, which we do the same way every time without conscious thought. The best evidence for this automation is our ability to continue any conversation with others while doing these tasks, or listening to music and enjoying it, or even making a phone call.

Over time, however, we can find ourselves immersed in practicing bad habits that bring no benefit and even become “slaves” to them, unable to break free, as we have become “addicted.” Perhaps the clearest example of this is “smoking.” Other bad habits these days include addiction to browsing the internet, social media, and watching adult content.

How can we change our habits, step by step?

Changing these harmful habits that affect our health, bodies, minds, and finances is possible, but it can be challenging. The feasibility of changing habits depends on their nature, for they are acquired, and anything acquired can be changed and discarded. The difficulty in changing them stems from the complex nature of habits we practice daily and their association with other factors, such as the time of day when we tend to perform them, and sometimes the place where we feel comfortable doing them.

To overcome this difficulty, one must first detach the habit from what it is associated with to make it easier to change. For example, if a “smoker” tends to light a cigarette after lunch or dinner, as I used to do in the past, they should break this connection and start quitting smoking after meals. They should be aware of the unconscious behavior they follow after finishing a meal, such as reaching for their pack of cigarettes, opening it while half-asleep, taking one out, and lighting it.

After consciously becoming aware of the behavior, the next step is to make a decision to break this chain of consecutive actions and announce this decision aloud to oneself and those around them to strengthen their resolve: “I won’t smoke today after eating.” If the “smoker” continues to stick to their decision (not to light a cigarette after eating) every day, they will have taken the first step towards completely quitting smoking. After that, if they have a strong desire to quit, and possess the necessary willpower and persistence, they can gradually widen the gaps between having coffee and smoking, if they associate smoking with coffee drinking, or decide to refuse any cigarette offered by a friend in a gathering of smokers, or limit the number of cigarettes smoked each day. Thus, changing a habit can begin step-by-step.

But those with great determination can skip all the steps and quit what they want in one great leap, no matter how painful it may be, as al-Mutanabbi’s saying suggests: “If the souls are grand,
the bodies exhaust themselves in their pursuits.”

Habits begin small

This leads us to a secret about the human psyche when it comes to habits and their acquisition. A habit is like a fire that begins with a tiny spark and then grows and grows. This is the essence of the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, which changed my life and behavior after I read it. Clear believes that acquiring a good habit or breaking a bad one doesn’t happen all at once; it starts with a limited behavior that grows over time until its owner achieves their desired outcome.

Let me give you a real-life example from my own experience that I still practice. I once experienced a significant spike in blood pressure after an emotional incident. When the pressure continued to be high, my doctor recommended I start taking medication to manage it. At that point, I paused and asked myself: – Should I resign myself to a future of increasing medication—one for cholesterol, another for blood pressure, and so on?

I then began reading about high blood pressure and its management and decided to change my lifestyle. I was faced with two options: either accept my fate (which I don’t believe is fate but a transient affliction), or commit to a series of habits that would allow me to manage my blood pressure. I chose the latter.

Here is what I needed to do: • Reduce my salt intake • Cut back on coffee with high caffeine content • Exercise regularly • Stay active

That’s what I committed to. I started running for about ten minutes, three times a week, initially. I also began lifting some light weights in three or four exercises to strengthen my arm and chest muscles. I started with repeating each exercise five times a day, which wasn’t too burdensome. Then I increased it to ten, then fifteen times, and added more exercises, until I was repeating each exercise twenty times and had seven different exercises in total.

I continued this for 21 days, the period after which, according to psychologists, a new behavior becomes a lasting habit. This experience taught me not to overload myself with what I want to get used to all at once and that starting with a small habit is truly the right path to developing larger habits.

I continue to practice these exercises, and by the grace of God, I have been able to eliminate blood pressure medication after maintaining consistent exercise, staying active, and reducing salt and coffee.

I’m not unique in this. Anyone can, with some determination, willpower, and persistence, change their life, break bad habits, and instill beneficial ones. If they do this, they will undoubtedly feel the exhilaration of conquering themselves, and in my view, that is the key to happiness.