I must beat this feeling, which is overtaking my body. Why do I feel fearful as if all the eyes of the passengers, waiting on the platforms of the train station, are following me? I started to feel the coldness of the place as if I was a naked person staring at every one and that they are about to shout this is the one who… everyone? Who is everyone? There are two young men only standing on the other side of the platform and an old lady accompanied by a child who was playing with her doll. 

What is the reason for fear then when there are four people on the platform plus me?

I did not commit a crime. No, I swear! And this is not a trap or an ambush to get me. Trap? Ambush? And who am I? His hand tightened its grip on his black bag absently. He did not depart from the bag since the first day of his job there… in Egypt around more than 4 thousand miles away from this platform in this station: Russel Square station in west London. Time has left its stark marks on the wrinkly leather of the bag.

His hand felt the puffiness of the bag in the middle bit, the same bit where he used to grip the bag on. He pretended to be looking and scrutinising one of the big adverts covering the walls around the pavements. He tried to hide the tremor that almost knocked the bag out of his hand, so he drew a smile on his face when he read the advert of an insurance company:

“Why humans cannot sneeze while their eyes are open?” The advert did not answer the question but only posed it. “If you felt so secured in every aspect” the advert continued to say, “You would have thought of such strange questions”. This is what I feel am missing: security… now at this moment. And my only crime is that …. He looked both ways to check if somebody was observing him… the two young men on the other side were busy in what seemed an unfriendly chat… are they planning to snatch his bag from his hand? No… No… their appearance and the bag’s wrinkly look will bury this idea at birth. As for the old woman, she seemed tired of waiting for the train, so her eyes started to shut down sometimes then open some other times. The child was next to her talking to her dolly as if she was a mother baby-talking with her child.  Security! How do I feel secured while every twitch is almost giving away that I …? No…No… I will not utter it… because by God I did not s…t…e…a…l.

He shuffled the bag from his right hand to his left one as to take it away from the sight of the two young men who are standing far there on the other side of the platform. He walked few steps and thought that it might be wise to sit on the last seat on the platform and put the bag on his lap and, this time, he tightened the grip of both hands on it. It is safe now… as for him, fear was flowing in his body.

Suddenly he sprang to his feet.                       

No… I will not let this feeling overcome me…

And if one of the two young men came and asked for it? He is not entitled to it…

How can he let go of it?

The truth of the matter is that he found it. It was left in a hidden corner between two steps of the stairs. The two young men were going ahead of him into the station reeking of beer smell. And as he does usually, in such circumstances, especially when he is walking alone in the street, he hesitated a little bit in his walk until the two young men passed him: two brown young boys but they walk as all other young people here with a streak of flirtation. He entered the station and took out his travel card and pushed it into the automatic barrier’s hole, which opened the panels. He slowed his pace slightly until the two young men disappeared from his sight and headed towards the lifts then he proceeded and entered. He preferred to climb down to the pavement by the side stairs. He barely put his foot on the second step when it attracted his attention, sitting in the very sharp corner between the two steps. The stairs were poorly lit, and it was not of a bright colour; rather, its colour was one of his favourites: dark brown. When it came into his sight, he stopped maybe for one second then he picked it up with lightning speed and felt the softness of its touch and became overwhelmed with its puffiness. He then heard a light voice in his head whispering to him: it is a gift from God to you.

He reached to the bag eagerly with speed and yearning and opened it then threw the money wallet inside it without thinking then closed the bag with even greater speed. He glanced over his shoulders and did not see anybody, but he heard footsteps which he recognised as those of the old lady and the child when he saw them on the platform. He continued going down the stairs slower than before and with steps that seemed balanced even though his body was tremoring. When he reached the platform, he scanned the place and located the position of the two young men then hurriedly walked with steps of apparent steadiness towards the other side of the platform.

It is time that you feel life… today is Friday and Friday in the Englishman’s land is a day of relief. Did Allah give you the permission of relief?

Every Friday workers get their wages and therefore the wallet seems to be puffed… he did not feel that it was full of the plentiful metal valueless coins that he abhors. They have this heavy blatant sound, yet they are valueless even the pound doesn’t have much value anymore as before at the peak of its glory when he first arrived to England. The wallet was soft to the touch and its puffiness gave it a look of pageantry like the paunch of one of the dignitaries of his town. He will not forget the touch he felt in his hand and his hand is an expert that does not let him down. He does not hold back from making sacred oaths affirming that the wallet was full to the brim with notes… banknotes off course.

Today is Friday…

What a great day you Friday… you truly bring relief following this overbearing guest! Job opportunities are no longer the same in England and I am only left the option of teaching so every now and then I am gifted with a “loser” who has been subject to a plot by his teachers who subsequently ignored him so he needed help with his studies, and he doesn’t like the way he is treated by his teachers- I pray that god sustain this hatred between them- so he requests private lessons. Everything is now private: private car, private teacher, and even education became private.

However, such losers are not many these days or maybe the number of mercenaries’ teachers like me has increased? 

Today is Friday, a day of relief…

And on such a day his wife comes back with her wages… she is the only one in the flat who comes back with a steady weekly wage… and the Christmas bonus at the end of the year.

May Allah forgive you time… because you have been unjust to men… I swear if it wasn’t for the need, I wouldn’t let her work but how can you pay the rent and the expenses of the two kids while the return to Egypt is conditioned by saving the “yeast*” as my wife says? Do we bring a scandal to ourselves by returning home with no money and no gifts?

[* Yeast: used as a reference for provisions in this context.]

London, with all its length and width, has become a prison to us in which we should stay until we complete the sentence.

However today seems to be a day of relief. The touch of the wallet is soft a sign of wealth… it is of natural leather from the posh type. He remembers that one day he saw a wallet the price of which was, to his surprise, one hundred and fifty pounds… yes, sterling pounds! It had the same touch but this one is a lady’s wallet- as it seems. Women generally carry more money than us men. They get money at every opportunity and these days they get big positions … may Allah forgive these times.

An air breeze increased his feeling of coldness, but he swallowed his saliva assuredly because the train is getting closer. Arrival of trains is always preceded by a blast of air like this one. The rails proved him right when they made a screeching sound announcing the arrival of the train… the roar of the train and the sound of its wheels filled the place breaking the edge of the feeling that he has been feeling inside since he arrived to this platform. He approached one of the doors and waited for seconds until the doors opened then he entered without hesitation and ran to the last seat in the carriage placing the bag against the wall of the carriage then sat down so nobody was able to see the bag anymore.

The train started off and with it his thoughts started.

What is he going to do with the wallet once he enjoyed what’s inside it? Shall he send it back to its owner? Its lady-owner? Are you sure it is for a lady?

Its shape, leather, softness, and the beauty of its colour all say that it belongs to a lady and not just any lady: a lady of a certain position.

But maybe he does not find inside it what shows the address of the owner?

Then he mumbled under his breath

O’ Lord…

It will be a decent gesture from me to give it as a present to my wife.

He still remembers its new look before he fed it to the bag.

The train stopped at the first station for few seconds then started off again.

You should be realistic and do not get carried away by dreams… because it might be… be … empty!

Empty? Your brain is empty… off course not… my fingers do not betray me… it is chocking on… I say there is no need for exaggeration… it has a decent amount of money, banknotes of big numbers… and these days banknotes, so beautiful, are small and high in value. Even if it included the wages of one week, this will be a relief to me and to my wife and children. The time has come for me to take them all to Alton Towers, the famous amusement park in north of England. How many times did I promise them, but I did not keep my promise? And now Allah has granted me the permission to honour it.

What a beautiful day you Friday…!

He mumbled under his breath.

All praise is due to Allah.

The train stopped again then started off again to continue its journey.

There is only one more station ahead… what shall I say to my wife? No…

No. I will not say anything… I will keep quiet… I will enter home as usual then…

The trained stopped at Manor House station so he jumped quickly out of his seat and rushed sneaking in-between the doors before they close again as if he was being chased.

He opened the door to the flat quietly and entered then he looked around but did not find his wife in the living room watching TV as usual. It seems she is in the bedroom. He went towards his room where there was a vintage desk and four shelves on which there were some books he used to read in the past. Just before he entered the room, he heard his wife’ voice.

– You arrived?

– Good Evening

I will pray the Ishaa Prayer then I will prepare dinner for you.

He did not listen to the rest of her words, but he felt an unusual tone in her voice. A tone that he sensed has some anxiety in it: did my father die in Egypt? He was ill for a long time… O’ Allah please make whatever she is going to say be good.

He doesn’t want anything to interrupt that moment: the moment of revelation.

Even if my father passed away what am I going to do? I am here in London and he is there, thousands of miles away, and I am helpless! Can I bring him back to life? O’ Allah forgive me… I don’t want to disturb the mood of the moment of revelation with petulance… now that I found it, I must find out alone, yes alone, what is the hidden treasure… I will not let my wife ruin my plan.

Give me some time; I have student’s books that should be marked before I sleep so I can give them back tomorrow.

He made up his mind and entered the room rushing towards the desk in the middle and sat on the chair placing the bag on the desk. The treasure is here inside this whale… he felt a shiver, so he realised that the window was open and closed it tightly and closed the only curtain in the room. Then he made himself comfortable in his seat and his hand started as to open the bag but then he stopped it.

I must start this in the name of Allah … any deed that does not begin with “in the name of Allah” is imperfect.

No, no it will be good. I am optimistic that it will be good.

He stretched his hand and took wallet out and felt is soft touch and felt assured because of its puffiness. Should he open it now? Or close the room’s door? No need wasting time even if his wife entered the room he will not be taken by surprise as he can hide everything in the drawer… and he did indeed take out some of the notebooks from the bag and laid them open on the desk and switched the desk lights on.

He muttered saying in the name of Allah again then decided that this will be the crucial moment… he held the wallet with both hands and found himself brushing a kiss gently on it, as if he was kissing a soft hand, and opened it…

His fingers touched papers… but their rustling disappointed him… it doesn’t seem they are banknotes… they are bills! What silly papers they are. Even though they cost us so much we keep them to bring grimness on us.

There must be banknotes in the other pocket which is protected by a soft zipper against fiddlers…

His curiosity pushed him to explore the bills to find out who is this great lady of the great position who owned this wallet one day… before this date… yes before this date.

The bill is under the name of his w…i…f…e!

He opened the other pocket trembling, but his fingers felt nothing other than the coldness of the leather.